E!'s New Series: Kim Kardashian and the Ass of Doom

My parents watch Entertainment Tonight religiously.  It has been this way since John Tesh was the co-host.  I personally cannot stand to listen to it for more than a minute because the people on there are asinine and most of the stuff they cover isn't worth covering; essentially, they are TMZ with a bigger budget.  I personally love how they take things that actually would be interesting and turn it into complete and total drivel.  Excited about seeing Thor or Captain America?  Then you haven't watched ET's coverage of it.  Here is how a typical interview goes down:

ET: So, Chris Hemsworth, you got really big to play Thor...
CH: Yeah, I had to workout three times a day and eat...
ET: Yeah, yeah, that's nice.  What do you think of the fat chick on Glee?
CH: What does that have to do with the movie I'm pro-
ET: Do you think having a fat chick on primetime television will change the way the public views fatties?
CH: Uh...I don't know.  Maybe?
ET: That's great.  Hold on Chris.  BREAKING NEWS!  Justin Bieber got a hair cut!

Rosie O'Donnell with a young k.d. lang

Which leads me to Kim Kardashian (I knew you were wondering how the title tied into this), who gets just as much coverage as Bieber, Kate Gosselin, and Lindsay Lohan's crazy ass.

Remember when the thought of doing her didn't remind you of sticking your wang in a sewage pipe?

The reason she gets so much coverage because she bounces from guy to guy like a big-assed pong ball being slapped around by a bunch of football players' penises.  But, part of me wonders if there is a method to her serial-dating madness that coincides with the largeness of her butt.  What if, in order to stay alive, she must feed on the souls of others, storing their lifeforce in her derriere?

Yeah, that makes sense.