Saturday, January 8, 2011

Top 9 Jobs I'm Qualified For Now That I Have an M.A. in English

Some of you might've seen these before, but I've revamped them using the aforementioned photoshop program.  However, no matter what, I present to you...

The Top 9 Jobs I'm Qualified For Now That I Have an M.A. in English

#9: Kill the Entire Cast of Twilight

#8: Amanda Seyfried's Eye Wrangler

#7: Hunchback of Moulton Tower
 
#6: Test Subject for Nutritional Supplement Co.
#5: Cougar Wrangler

#4: Start Roadside Fruit Stand

#3: Create New Male Lounge-wear Company

#2:  Trojan Condom Tester

#1: Porn Set Nipple Tweaker

Thank you very much for checking out my blog.  I'll try to put some more stuff up later.  In the mean time, check out Gutters, a satirical view of the comic book industry, as well as The Oatmeal, which is a really cool site that has a ton of different topics it tackles.

Til next time.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Something a Little Different: Dead Rising 2: Case West Review

I have to admit, I like zombies.

Out of all of the horror creature canon, I think zombies are far and away the best.  They are better than vampires, werewolves, Frankensteins, and creatures from colored lagoons.

Jury's still out on Blaculas

While the visuals of each are what keep each prevalent (gotta dress like something for Halloween), it is what they represent that makes them so timeless.  The vampire represents sexual desire and rape; Frankenstein monsters represent the dark side of science; and, werewolves represent our animal impulses left unchecked.

These are the classic monsters; the ones that made Karloff and Lugosi household names.  Their popularity waxes and wanes based on our society's interest and what film companies think will get teen and tween girls to wet their panties.
 Oh shit!  It's Powder!
Zombies, according to the man who turned them from West-African urban legend to postmodern cash cow, George Romero, represent "criticize real-world social ills—such as government ineptitude, bioengineering, slavery, greed and exploitation."  Zombies, unlike the others, are a byproduct as opposed to the primary cause (you never have to kill the Head Zombie to end an invasion, do you?).

Which leads me to my two favorite works of the modern zombie: The Walking Dead and Dead Rising.

What I like about both franchises is the zombies turn into a mirror that reflects the true nature of mankind.  Sure, every once in a while someone get eaten or turned into a zombie, and a lot of times people are putting slugs in the back of zombie brainstems; yet, that's just icing on the cake.  The real show is watching how the people respond not only to the zombies, but to each other.

This is something that Dead Rising does very well.  The first one centered around journalist Frank West getting to the bottom of an outbreak in Willamette, Colorado.  While it is awesome to spend countless hours bashing brains with everything from a baseball bat to a mannequin, the best part of the game was Frank's interactions with the supporting characters, survivors, and psychopaths that litter the story.  Also, the multiple ending and copious amounts of achievements led to a high replay value that never felt tedious or boring.

And dare I say, dead sexy?

To set up the sequel and tie the events of the first game into the second, we were given Dead Rising 2: Case Zero, which introduced us to the new leading man, Chuck Greene.  It's purpose was to show us the world a few years removed from DR1 as well as give us an introduction to both Chuck and the new weapon system.  Everything was set for an awesome new adventure in this electronic Zombieland.

Unfortunately, Dead Rising 2 suffered a slight case of Sequelitis.  While I enjoyed the Chuck and the advent of the combo weapon system (as well as finally seeing what Wolverine would be like during a zombie apocalypse), the game seemed like a carbon copy that lacked the heart and the creativity of the first.

Nevertheless, when Capcom announced Dead Rising 2: Case West for $10 on Xbox Live, I was once again giddy at the prospect of slaying more zombies, especially with the inclusion of DR1 hero Frank West.

And, I have to say, I really enjoyed the three brief missions I had with the two.

What I love about Case West is the interaction between the two characters as the infiltrate a lab used to create ways to treat those infected by the zombie outbreak.  The back and forth banter makes the team up a lot of fun.  I also appreciate the fact they aren't just whacking zombies this time around.  Taking a cue from the original, our intrepid heroes get to go toe-to-to with at least three different types of human antagonists.  This is something I missed from DR2 and perhaps why I felt a disconnect from it.  Having to contend with people with guns forces the player to incorporate more of a strategy than swinging for the fences.

Although, it does work for some.

Another thing I enjoyed was not having to save anyone.  I'm not saying there aren't people that Frank and Chuck have to help, but they don't become escort missions.  This is something that became incredibly tedious about DR2 as I felt the majority of the game was devoted to finding all of these people.  While escorts were involved in DR1, it was clearly secondary to the story.  However, unlike the prior two games, there is a twist: the survivors aren't marked on the maps like before.  The only way to find them is to run across them during gameplay.  This definitely adds to the replay value since you might want to go back through to find them all for the achievements.

A wonderful improvement made between DR2 and CW is the loading time between sections.  Traveling between the different areas of the mall and casinos in DR2 was horrible; one had time to take a restroom break, make dinner, and do his/her taxes before the game returned.  Which is great when you haven't saved at any point during the last seven hours of gaming and you think the thing might have froze, leaving you a broken pile of sweat and Cheeto dust.  The quicker loading times make the overall experience a lot more enjoyable.

The gameplay is similar to DR2.  If you have played it, then creating combo weapons and kicking zombie ass is old hat. However, Frank's camera returns.  Yet, unlike the first game, the camera doesn't really serve a purpose save for achievement hunting.  Even though it's a nice touch, it is completely unnecessary.

  Although Chuck's been meaning to update his Facebook pic.

A major issue I have with CW is, if you play solo, you can only use one of the Chuck.  This is completely inexcusable for a couple of reasons.  Personally, I'm not a fan of multiplayer (although I have enjoyed Red Dead Redemption's co-op missions), and I feel like Capcom is trying to strong-arm those who buy the game into online multiplayer.  Not only that, but some of the weapons in the game can only reach full power if being used by Frank, meaning you have to go into someone else's game to play as Frank in order to get them.  While the multiplayer is a LOT better than DR2's (where it is your Chuck and someone else's Chuck wreaking havoc), I don't like feeling forced into it.  There should have been some sort of button you could push to switch between the two men.  Quite honestly, I would have preferred to play as Frank because I like his move-set better than Chuck's.

You call that a gun?

I also have a problem with the lack of bosses.  In DR2: Case Zero, Chuck had to fight a mechanic hellbent on eradicating the zombie problem one little six-year-old at a time.  He had a story.  He was interesting.  He was difficult.  He got blown to bits by my sniper rifle.  The two boss battles in this CW (and saying there were two is being generous) were lacking.  The first one is essentially an introduction of human baddies you get to contend with for the rest of the game.  It was fun, but it wasn't an honest to god boss battle like, say, the LesbiTwins from DR2.

Let's hear it for the Scissor Sisters!!!

The second boss (the real boss) was basically Bane from Arkham Asylum; a huge, hulking berserker trying to turn you into Ground Chuck -- or, Ballpark Franks (see what I did there?  I know, not funny).  There isn't any of that crazy psycho rationale from the previous games.  He isn't even that difficult considering the CPU-controlled character is invincible.  Hook Frank up with a powerful melee weapon and pick the boss off with a ranged weapon and it's game over.

Fortunately, the reveal at the end gives leaves the Dead Rising saga open-ended, allowing for a third full-length game that directly ties the two prior together and (potentially) create a nice ending to the series.

Overall, I give this game a 7.5 out of 10.  If you enjoyed the previous two games, you will enjoy this one.  If you don't feel like shelling out $10 bucks, then you aren't missing much.  If anything, it serves as a nice epilogue to the DR2 as well as directly linking it to the original while giving a direction to a possible third game.